Every person needs hope planted at the bottom of their hole – Anne Voskamp

cam croppedSee? See that? That is my boy smiling.  A genuine smile. There were months, maybe years if I really am honest, that I didn’t see him smile a genuine smile.  I want to freeze time because I am afraid this moment of peace will slip away from me. When you are in the dark place, the struggle, you just can’t imagine there will ever be anything different. You fear you will  always be surrounded by  the suffocating darkness; that this is what it will always be like.

But, hope.


Hope is what every desperate heart needs.


Some days I couldn’t hear the hope. I couldn’t believe it. I am thankful for the ones who spoke hope to me even when I couldn’t see it.  I want to speak that hope to you.  That you really will get to the other side and it really will be ok.

Jen Hatmaker is speaking that hope  tonight too…

“That thing when someone’s kid is pitching a 25 minute long fit in Target, and you simultaneously feel terrible for the mom and unhappy kid but also want to hit your knees in blessed thanksgiving that those days are behind you.

Young Target Mamas, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I swear!!

I now walk around Target like the Queen of Sheba, sipping my latte and DOING WHAT I WANT. You will too. I promise. In the meantime…ain’t nothing wrong with a mama wearing earplugs on aisle 7.”

Some times you just need someone to say I know, it’s so hard. This grief, this struggle, this fear.  It’s so hard. And then you need someone to say I believe it’s going to get better. You need them to say it  because you can’t believe it for yourself. Not when you are in the middle of it.

But one day; after every day, after every minute of your struggle, you will find yourself on the other side.  And you will see your boy smile.   And you realize  hope was there all along.


About splitpease

I am a mom of three teenage boys who used to be a teacher, who became a personal trainer, who had to sell my share of a personal training studio, who had to take a job running a swim and racquet club, who hopes to one day be able to do what I love and still keep a roof over my head.
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2 Responses to Hope

  1. Elaine says:

    I hear you and I am walking it. Nearly 21 and still painful. Hope abides.

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