I have a confession to make. I hate Christian radio. I try to listen to it, I really do. But every time I turn to the station, I feel like they are playing the same songs I used to run to with my walkman 30 years ago. I know I am a horrible person. Sorry. But yesterday I was driving back to work, and I was desperate for something. My heart was in pieces after two of my friends had lost their children to suicide this past week, and my fears for my own son who is struggling were heightened. I pleaded, come on God give me something… This was just what I needed to hear.
I hate mental illness. I hate how it robs a person of their God given gifts and talents. I hate how it steals joy and peace. I hate how it abducts their personality. I hate how it compels people to do things that are destructive to themselves and those around them. I hate it because it is scary. Most of all, I hate it because it lies and tells beautiful, precious people that their life is not worth living…I hope this is what you needed to hear.
I hate when I can’t fix it. I hate when I can’t help. I hate when I can’t make everything right. I hate when I can’t take away my child’s pain and my friend’s heartache. I hate it that God can, and yet sometimes doesn’t…I hope this comforts you like it did me.