I’m a little sad. Skyrim was released today. To you mortals that means my endless authority and supreme power has ended. Mom’s of young children have so much they can use to bribe, I mean encourage, their children to be model kids. Until our kids drive, mom’s of teenagers really don’t have too much to use for extortion. When they are younger, Halloween candy easily becomes parenting power. And, don’t get me started on The Elf on the Shelf. I wasn’t lucky enough to raise my boys with that little elfin tool. Those lucky mom’s get a whole month of great behavior by using that little creeper of an elf. It has been years since I could hang the proverbial “Santa is watching” over my boy’s head to get them to do anything and everything at a moments notice. But, for the last couple of months I have had the joy of Skyrim’s release to get some serious parenting mileage. These last few weeks have been as close as I will ever get to being Princess Buttercup.(which, if you really want to know, is my ultimate dream) “Carter, fetch me some water.” “As you wish” “Cameron, fold that pile of laundry.” “As you wish”. Now for those of you whose kids aren’t teenage boys, or if your kids actually have a life, you probably have never heard of this video game. But for those of us whose kids enjoy a video game or two, or three, or four, or five, it is all they have been talking about for months. Apparently it is a big deal. 9 out of 10 ratings, an unprecedented 10 out of 10 by some…blah blah blah. All I have cared about is the leverage I have gotten out of it, and now it’s gone. At least you guys with Elf on the Shelf power know that you only have to wait another 11 months and you can pull it back out and have another month of power. You have hope. Me? Today I am back to nagging, begging, and the occasional tear to get my kids to respond. Because of Skyrim, I have had my baseboards painted, my bathrooms cleaned, the dishwasher loaded,the trash taken out with just a knowing look, and miraculously the trash cans brought back up from the curb without me having to ask. I have even extorted a hug or two. Now that it is in their hands, I am left standing alone, powerless in the kitchen; staring at a sink full of dishes and an overflowing trash can, never to hear “As you wish” again. I guess I really can’t complain. All things considered, they really haven’t given me any trouble. But, for those few sweet months, I had ultimate power. I pretty much could have gotten them to do anything. In hind sight I may not have maximized this opportunity. “Carter, My sock drawer needs to be organized.” “Carter?” “Cameron?” “Can anybody hear me?” Oh well, I guess it is back to being Forever Alone!


About splitpease

I am a mom of three teenage boys who used to be a teacher, who became a personal trainer, who had to sell my share of a personal training studio, who had to take a job running a swim and racquet club, who hopes to one day be able to do what I love and still keep a roof over my head.
This entry was posted in family, humor, Skyrim, teenagers, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “AS YOU WISH”

  1. Brandon Day says:

    suzi i absolutely love your blog! you are so beautifully spoken and written, as well as witty and insightful. you seriously need to write a book!

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