Steven Slater Is Not My Hero

I get it. Believe me. All we really want is an apology. Some validation that, yes, indeed we were wronged.  All anyone wants is for  the person that hurt us to genuinely feel bad about it and tell us how sorry they are that they caused us pain, (and it wouldn’t hurt if they made some restitution while they were at it.)  I’ve been stuck in that place; waiting for the apology, waiting for the reconciliation….only for it never to come.  So what do you do?  Steven Slater decided to, in his mother’s words, “have a small meltdown.”  (Don’t you just love mother’s) He didn’t get the apology he was looking for when the women dropped a suitcase on his head so he cussed her out over the intercom, deployed the airplane shoot, grabbed some beers, and exited the plane.   I have a lot to say about all that.  But what is really on my  heart today is what do we do when we never get the apology;  when the person who wronged us walks away without consequence while we are left with the fall out.   There was a time I kept waiting for  AA’s steps 8 and 9 to happen.  In Al Anon those were my favorite steps … yep, one day I was going to hear that list of all the wrongs that had been done to me. I’d receive my amends.  I ‘d hear the I’m sorry.  Finally I would be validated.   Then I could move on, forgive, be at peace,  put it all behind me.  I am still waiting.  It may never happen.  So what to do?   I have had dreams of cussing over an intercom, shouting to the the world all the injustices done to me, and then sliding off into the sunset . (I’d grab a nice Cabernet on the way out though) I guess it is why Steven Slater has such a following. We all are carrying around all the injustices that we have endured.  All  of the un-apologized for offenses are stuck in our back pocket, ready to be pulled out and relived.  We all want to rant and rave and let everyone know how badly life has treated us. We are all struggling to forgive something.  Huge, deep wounds like victims of abuse, or parents who have lost children to drunk drivers, or infidelity;  and small wounds like an unkind word or … well I don’t have to list them,  we’ve  all experienced them. No matter how deep or shallow the wound,  the principal is still the same.  When we refuse to make the choice to forgive, we are the ones that suffer.  Sadly we are only hurting ourselves when we hold on to the anger and bitterness. We will never be free from the pain and the injustice until we release the other person and forgive. As we let go of the grudges and the un forgiveness, we no longer define our life by how we’ve been hurt. I have found forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling;  sometimes a minute by minute choice.  I used to think that forgiveness meant I had to reconcile and stay in the relationship. Sometimes it does, but not always.  I can forgive without reconciliation.  I can forgive without tolerating the wrong doings and without remaining in a harmful situation. We all have things, big and small, that have caused us pain; and usually it has been caused by a person that needs your forgiveness.  As you read this, who have you been thinking about?  What wound was reopened and begun bleeding again through the scar? Forgiveness is for your healing.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean  the wrongs done to you are any less wrong or hurtful; it just means they no longer have the power to keep hurting you. So do what it takes to forgive.  It will be the first step to healing.  Oh yea, and sometimes the person you need to forgive is yourself.

When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive

”Biblical forgiveness means that the person who was wronged forfeits his/her personal right to punish the offender.” -Jeff West

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.” -anonymous

Sorry, this quote on forgiveness was  too funny  not  to post!

For more on forgiveness, read the Bible.  It’s really what it’s all about.

Advertisements

About splitpease

I am a mom of three teenage boys who used to be a teacher, who became a personal trainer, who had to sell my share of a personal training studio, who had to take a job running a swim and racquet club, who hopes to one day be able to do what I love and still keep a roof over my head.
This entry was posted in alcoholhism, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Steven Slater Is Not My Hero

  1. Joan Eden says:

    Thank you for this. Excellent read and I couldn’t agree with you more! Your boys are so blessed to have a Mom who grows in her trials! Who seeks after the Lord, and chooses to be whole with the grace of God.

    Wow! I would love to have a cup of coffee with you sometime.
    xoxo

  2. Lori Richardson says:

    Wow, did I need this one this week?! you never cease to amaze me sis!
    Just a stupid work thing, but I allowed some people to really affect me and create chaos for the dedicated people I work with. I know I will never get that apology, but I know in my heart that what happened was wrong and now I can move on, thanks to your insight. Besides there are people out there with real issues, not just extra work load and lack of sleep.
    Sleep well. That’s what I’m going to do tonight….
    Love,Lori

  3. Debbie Glasby says:

    Suzi I know exactly what you are talking about! My divorce was sooooo painful because of the way my Ex handled it with the kids. I was powerless to stop him from dragging them into the middle of it and it broke my heart to see what they went thru (still go thru to some point, almost 10 years later) and the hate I felt for him for doing that to my kids was so intense it almost killed me. I waited and waited for him to realize how horrible he had been but it never happened. I turned into a different person because of that hate and am just now learning to let it go. I’m tired of it ruining my life and I’m pretty sure he will never admit to his wrong doing. He’s justified it somehow to himself. It’s a day to day decision, kind of how I’m told an addict feels about giving up their addiction. Its horrible when something has that big of an influence on your life that you don’t want! Love you and feel your pain and I keep trying to rise above and not sink to his level.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s